Having had the pleasure of attending the November 25th event where Compassionate Inquiry® encountered the projective cards created by Dr. Alexandrina Carmen Ene and Psych. Anca Nicoiu Șuteu, after exploring with the interested people in the individual sessions, I invite you to compassionate reflection…
What is Compassionate Inquiry®?
Compassionate Inquiry® is an approach to personal growth and healing developed by Dr. Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur. As Gabor says, the essence of Compassionate Inquiry® is to give us the framework to step out of the stories we tell ourselves thus giving space to our authentic selves to express themselves. As Katie Byron said, we are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, about the world, about relationships. This is precisely why the Compassionate Inquiry® approach emphasizes the importance of compassion and curiosity in understanding and healing our emotional pain and challenges.
At the heart of Compassionate Inquiry® is the belief that our problems and struggles are not due to personal shortcomings or weaknesses, but rather are the result of unmet emotional needs and unprocessed trauma. Through Compassionate Inquiry®, we learn to approach our pain with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment or avoidance.
Compassionate Inquiry® Therapeutic Process
The Compassionate Inquiry® process involves exploring the root causes of our pain, which may be hidden under layers of shame and self-criticism. By exploring our emotions with openness and non-judgment, we can uncover patterns of behavior and thought that are no longer serving us, and work towards cultivating greater self-awareness and self-compassion.
Compassionate Inquiry® offers a gentle, non-judgmental approach to exploring our inner world. It encourages us to investigate our thoughts, emotions and sensations with curiosity and gentleness. We can thus transform the defense mechanisms we have built to protect ourselves from discomfort or pain, honoring the gifts they have brought us. Through this process, we gain a deeper understanding of our power behind the protections—the strength and resilience we possess that allow us to navigate situations that may challenge us. Compassionate Inquiry® allows us to embrace all aspects of ourselves, including the shadows and vulnerabilities we have avoided, ultimately leading to an authentic and integrated self-image.
5 Levels of Compassion
The 5 levels of compassion give us the framework in which the projective cards can be used as signposts to our inner realm.
Etymologically, the word compassion derives from the Latin compati. Pati means to suffer and com means with. Compassion therefore means to suffer with…not for, but with…
At a first level we encounter what Gabor calls Ordinary Compassion, which almost all of us are capable of. If someone is suffering we feel out of our comfort zone, we want their pain to end, we empathize and feel the need to do something about it.
Next comes the Compassion of Understanding We got past the point where we didn’t feel comfortable, we don’t do it anymore but we are curious to understand why. Why does the person next to us suffer, what meaning does he give to the pain he experiences.
Then at the level of Compassion of Recognition we realize that there is nothing that happens in the other person that does not also happen in ourselves. There are no judgments, no interpretations, there is nothing true in the other that is not also true in ourselves.
The Compassion of Truth tells us that we cannot truly help or save anyone from suffering. We cannot take away someone else’s suffering, we cannot protect them, but we can help them experience suffering.
Compassion of Possibility tells us about seeing in others the possibilities they may not yet see.
My Woman Contour and Compassionate Inquiry®
A Compassionate Inquiry® session usually begins with the client’s question or intention. What is he or she trying to understand, solve, achieve? Clarity about the need underlying this intention is often lacking at first, and here the cards act as a visual dictionary, allowing individuals to articulate and explore their intentions in their own language.
For example, I often hear – I want to be more feminine? I want to accept my femininity. Is it clear to you what I want? …. ….
The Need
Select a card that represents a deep emotional need that would result from the intention to be more feminine. What sensations and emotions does this card evoke? How does it resonate with your understanding of feminine energy?
Sensory Expression
Choose a card that captures a sensory experience you associate with femininity. Can you describe the textures, colors or flavors represented? How do these sensory elements align with your vision of embracing femininity?
Visuals
Explore a visual card that symbolizes feminine power for you. What images or symbols stand out and how do they resonate with your perception of feminine energy? How might these visuals contribute to your intent?
Reflection on Adaptative Mechanisms
Identify cards that symbolize coping mechanisms aligned with your intention to embrace feminine energy. What stands in the way of becoming more feminine? What actions or practices come to mind? How do these coping mechanisms support a more feminine energy in your life?
Childhood Reflection
Imagine a card that represents your childhood understanding of femininity. What memories or images come to mind? How might reconnecting with this childhood perception inform your current intention?
Naming Your Feminine Essence
Choose a card that encapsulates the essence of the femininity you want. What word or phrase comes to mind when you look at this card? How does this name reflect the qualities you want to embody?
Integration into everyday life
Select cards that represent activities or behaviors that align with your intention. How can you integrate these aspects into your daily life? What small, actionable steps can you take to cultivate a more feminine energy?
Affirmation of Feminine Strength
Identify cards that embody strength and resilience in a feminine context. How do these books challenge traditional notions of strength? How can you embrace and express these qualities on your journey to a more feminine energy?
Integrating Projective Cards into Compassionate Inquiry® Process
The integration of projective cards becomes even more pronounced as we guide clients into their bodily experiences. The cards provide a language for emotions and sensations that might sometimes be difficult to put into words. “If they could talk, what would they say?”” it becomes a gateway to understanding the nuances of their inner world.
As we venture into the origin of these emotions, the cards become keys to releasing memories and experiences. “Is this your first time experiencing this?” prompts a journey through time, revealing the earliest origins of their feelings. The set serves not only as a communication tool, but also as a bridge to connect present emotions with past hurts
In addition, the cards facilitate the identification of underlying beliefs and defense mechanisms. They serve as mirrors, reflecting the narratives we have constructed about ourselves. By allowing the discovery of other possible beliefs outside of these beliefs, the client paves the way for self-compassion and recognition of needs and the normality of their existence.
Essentially, this set of projective cards not only helps to articulate bodily sensations and emotions, but also helps to name needs. They thus become a personalized language for self-exploration, a visual and sensory road map that guides clients through the intricate landscapes of their own experiences.
May you be inspired,
